A fresh wind

I have been reading "Myth of a christian Nation" By Gregory Boyd. This right after reading "Prayer" by Phillip Yancey. I must say that this has been an extreme stretching time for me. Yancey talks about how you can pray and nothing seem to change. That everything is in God's hands and there is no formula to God and prayer.He also talks about how are prays sometimes are self-serving. Not God minded but greed minded.
Boyd talks about how we say we are Christians but are we loving sacrificially like Christ did. Are we giving love to everyone every chance we can. Are we not trying to only serve ourselves but anyone in need.

So I have had to do a lot of deep contemplation about this.
My prayer life has almost stopped for the moment. I am trying to listen more. (you know right before I fall asleep). I want God to talk to me, because my flesh usually is all that talks to him. I want to listen long enough so then my Soul can speak to him. I am tired of praying to have a GOOD DAY, or ENOUGH MONEY. I want to pray that I will have the opportunity to be aware of the moment that God steps into a situation. I want to quit this self-serving bull crap that has been my way of life, and find a way to actually serve others. And not serve because I know I should but actually do it because I know God is in it. I'm not saying that I don't want money and don't want nice things, but I want to be apart of what God is doing, what does he want for me.

Here Comes the Rain again

Don't you just love it when you have just cut the grass, and weedeated (which I hate to do), and then what happens, terrencial rain storm, the kind you only get if the guy next door just finished his ark. Now I know my grass is going to grow like 4 inches tomorrow, but then in the same note, I know the corn loves to get rain. IT was also good for a lot of other crops. So I guess I can only complain a little.

But that is something I am wanting to work on. Have you ever been consious of a Personality flaw (say compalining), and though you are full aware of it, and you know exactly when your doing it YOU JUST CAN QUIT. THat really stinks. I wish I could quit comlaining, but even now I am sort of complaining about my own complaining. THat is kind of ironic.

We're Not worthy, We're not Worthy

Reading in Philip Yancey's "Prayer" he discusses Martin Luther's issued he had with prayer. He felt he wasn't worthy to come to GOD in prayer. Yancey goes on to say that we are not worthy to come before GOD. But if we were worhty then what need would there be for GOD.
That is totally true. If I had it all together, if I had no issues, if I was perfect then I truely wouldn't need God. I think that is one of my problems in life. I think I have it together, and in some areas I do. But I often forget to THANK god for letting me have that area under control. I am usually very quick to run to him in the areas I don't have a grip on. It's like moving something heavy, sometimes you can handle it just fine, you dont need help, no need to ask. But as soon as it slips and is about to fall on you, or maybe it already has, you will be yelling for someone to come as quick as they can.

So I guess in a way, I really would like GOD to make me comfortably uncomfortable. I guess its like when GOD was supplying Manna every morning. Sure its great that he is providing for us. But I really want something different. I want to be uncomfortable in my life, to where the world make me feel uncomfortable (with all its smoke and mirrors), but being wrapped up in GOD brings me complete Comfort.
So now is the Big question, how in the world do I get there. OOOHHHHH sure, thats rights Prayer for God to make me uncomfortable. I say that with my lips, but do I mean that with my soul. Will I be able to fight off my flesh? Will I be able to continue to maintain my Focus.

BACK BACK AND GONE

I watched the Home Run Derby last night, ok not the hole thing just the first round. But from what I read this morning that was the best part anyways. Josh Hamilton really rocked that ball. I felt bad for his 71 year old pitcher. It looked like a lot of fun to be there.

The big question is, with all that money and all those people putting there energy into something that doesn't matter all that much. What it they used the same money and energy for something like helping homeless, or helping underprivlaged kids.
Think about A-Rod's 231 million dollar contract. That could almost fund a third world country. I wonder if he Tithes to his church. HAHAHA

Playing in the Sand

Exodus

chapter 2

11 One day, after Moses had grown up, he went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his own people. 12 Glancing this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. 13 The next day he went out and saw two Hebrews fighting. He asked the one in the wrong, "Why are you hitting your fellow Hebrew?"
14 The man said, "Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the Egyptian?" Then Moses was afraid and thought, "What I did must have become known."

• I read this the other day and got thinking about it, how long do you think it took Moses to bury this guy? How did Moses know the Hebrews were his people? How did Moses know killing was wrong because he hadn't recieved the 10 Commandments yet??????




• Moses killed someone and knew it was wrong and tried to bury his sin. I think this is still true today. We still try to bury our sins. But I think that really we want to be figured out, so we can stop hiding and putting on an act that everything is just fine.




• In Verse 14 this really rung true to me. Moses was put as Judge and ruler over the people, but just not yet. But his God given ability was now hindered because of our sin. How can we become the people God wants us to be until we are able to stop doing things that we know are wrong.

Vacation plans

I am currently reading Philip yancey's "Prayer". In it he visits the common verse of Psalm 46:10

10 "Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth."

Yancey talks about how BE still in latin means to vacate. so he goes on to say that what God is telling us is we need to take a VACATION from being God and let God be God for a while.

That really shook me. I had never heard that before. It is so true, I hardly give God the chance to be GOD. I am always trying to make sure that everything will be fine, with my own limited ability.

I looked up be still on the internet in Latin.
sileo- to be silent, still, inactive.

So my challenge is to take a vacation from being "God" let him run everything without being in the way. To be inactive and silent. Not inactive as not doing anything, but from trying to be God. So if I quit trying to rule my world, the little world I setup for myself, and realize that I too was not there when God made the earths foundations. I am but a small part of all of life.