A fresh wind

I have been reading "Myth of a christian Nation" By Gregory Boyd. This right after reading "Prayer" by Phillip Yancey. I must say that this has been an extreme stretching time for me. Yancey talks about how you can pray and nothing seem to change. That everything is in God's hands and there is no formula to God and prayer.He also talks about how are prays sometimes are self-serving. Not God minded but greed minded.
Boyd talks about how we say we are Christians but are we loving sacrificially like Christ did. Are we giving love to everyone every chance we can. Are we not trying to only serve ourselves but anyone in need.

So I have had to do a lot of deep contemplation about this.
My prayer life has almost stopped for the moment. I am trying to listen more. (you know right before I fall asleep). I want God to talk to me, because my flesh usually is all that talks to him. I want to listen long enough so then my Soul can speak to him. I am tired of praying to have a GOOD DAY, or ENOUGH MONEY. I want to pray that I will have the opportunity to be aware of the moment that God steps into a situation. I want to quit this self-serving bull crap that has been my way of life, and find a way to actually serve others. And not serve because I know I should but actually do it because I know God is in it. I'm not saying that I don't want money and don't want nice things, but I want to be apart of what God is doing, what does he want for me.