Love, Love, Love

I watched a movie last night called "Second Chance" , it stared Michael W. Smith as Ethan. Ethan was a preacher at his dad's mega-large super-rich church., and had to go to the church called second chance that his father had pastored and the mega-church supported. The second chance church was in the hood.
But the movie shows how people show Jesus' love not by sitting in some fancy church with flat screens and comfy seats. But by being on the street and being real with people.

Everything I am reading or now watching just keeps showing me, I need to learn to LOVE. I can easily love as long as I am comfortable. That is not the Issue, but how much love then am I really showing everyone does this (Matthew 7: 9-12)
But how dirty am I getting, how much am I in pain over someone else problems. How far am I really willing to go to help someone.

I aint to proud to beg

Here I am One more day of not Loving Him the way He asks In fact my heart is singing praises to the things that make me feel alright So I’m sinking fast like a stone heart should And on the way down I’ve done what I could To try and try to turn this stone to flesh I’m haunted by my God Who has the right to ask me What by the nature of my rebellion I cannot give. So I beg for you to move I beg for you to move I beg for you to break through So here I am Got my deeds for the day All my cute little words about How I am saved Am I saved? Could I love you with my mouth like a church kid should At the end of the day My words get burned as wood Oh, but I was good. I’m haunted by my God Who has the right to ask me What by the nature of my rebellion I cannot give. These songs are noise In your ears A clanging drum You want my love

These are lyrics from a Shane and Shane song called "Beg"


I thought this song really captured how I sometimes feel.

A saved life??

Ok, I have been putting off this post for a while now. But here goes.

Lately I have been doing so analyzing of my faith, and what my true beliefs are.

recently I was thinking of "the church" and christian radio. Both of these in my opinion are setup for people who already believe.
Like christian radio, I love hearing sermons, I love hearing good messages that make me think, but I have noticed at the end of the message on the radio, the pastor will come back on and prayer a "Sinners prayer" with the radio audience. Now I am sure there are people who have accepted Jesus like this, and that is great. BUT I bet the majority like 90% to 10% odds that the people who are listening to Christian Radio are already saved. I think the same is true for church. It is setup for people who believe.

I have nothing against Christian Radio or the Church. I love both and spend time enjoying both every week. But are we actually living like Jesus has asked us to? Are we loving the world so much that we are viewed as something set apart from the rest of the world? Or are we caught up in the things of the world just like people who do not know Jesus.

I say all this because how much of my faith am I actually living out. Ponder that for a minute, how much of your faith are you living out. Are you loving sacrificually like Jesus did? Are you serving someone so much that it is literally Killing you?

I'm not. I'm not even close. I dont think I have much love for people at all. My patience is short, I feel like I am better than a lot of people (which means I am judging them) I also don't really feel for people. So do I really have Jesus in my Heart? Am I going to get to Heaven and have Jesus say "Wow dude you were awesome" Probably not. So am I living a "SAVED" life?

But even though I write this how do I get myself to change. How do I change the ME-CENTERED mindset that runs my life? How do I love without limits? How do I serve until I bleed? How do I love the world so much that I remind people of Jesus?

A shipped sailing home

Saxaphonist Leroi Moore died. That is really sad, that dude could really blow. The band is not going to be the same. I heard though Jeff Coughin of Bela Fleck and the flecktones is going to sit in with the band for the rest of the tour.

I guess now Leroi is playing with Jimi and Stevie, and Miles. That would be a killer band.

Hit me with it

Ok I'm looking for some new stuff to read so if any one has any good books they have read let me know. All suggestions will be considered.

Refreshing

This morning was one of those morning, when you walk outside, and the air is chilly, not cold and crisp. It makes me want to just be able to sit there and do nothing but soak up the morning. I wish I had woken up a little earlier so I could have enjoyed it a little more. I would have loved to have sat in the swing and read from my book. Maybe I will try tomorrow.......

A new game

Saw this on ww.Reverendfun.com it was to great not to share.

Don't Stop Believin

I hated to use a Journey song title, but ..... its the best i could come up with

Ok I am currently read "The Bible Jesus read", by Philip Yancey. Its been ok so far, I am about a third of the way through it, it hasn't been quite as strong as some of his other books. But he made a statement that I read last night.

Talking of Job, how he prayed to die. Yancey says he was most likely starting to lose faith, and not wanting to lose faith in God he knew if he died, then he would have died with Faith. Yancey claims that during hard times sometimes its not the actual suffering that gets to us, is the losing of faith.

Yancey also goes on to say that the book of Job shows us to keep our faith, and that suffering can happen to good people also, not only the "SINNERS".

Yancey also talks of how God let he own reputation hang on Job's back. That blows my mind, why would a powerful creator let his own reputation hang on a flawed human. I mean I hate my name being associated with people's work that I know is not the way I would be able to do it. I don't know, God seems to have a lot more confidence in Us than we have in ourselves. How did we become so down on ourselves, and Jesus told us to could tell a mountain to move and it would do it if we had faith. Why can't we just believe? Why is our faith so weak?

A new venture

OK I am going to try really hard, like super hard to lose about 25 lbs. I hope to have it off by christmas, then my new years resolution can be to keep it off.

So if you run into and I am a little irritable, this could be why......

Like a Rock

Or maybe like a pebble but not this one....

Do I have faith like Peter, or Job? If my faith became truly tested and everything I knew fell completely apart would I still be true to God.

How would I hold up? What would happen to my faith if I went through the testing of Job? What would happen if I had to watch my Savior get beaten right in front of me, (not wanting to get beat myself, I might deny him also) then having to see him on the cross.

How does my faith hold up now? I must say I am kind of like Job in a sense regardless of what is thrown at me I still believe in God. Do I like everything that happens, well "No". But the Bible points out, God is love, God is just. So I must go threw crap because in someway I deserve it. I know of many things I do that God would and does not approve of. But how do you get to a place where you are able to block out the entire world and focus on what God has for you????????

How do you get to the place where you only focus on Jesus?

I try to study the bible, I listen to sermons all day, but truth be known all the things I have read, all the messages I have heard, haven't changed my heart all that much. I mean I don't think I love like Jesus did. Sometimes I think I am becoming a professional church attender. Sometimes I feel like I haven't progressed at all. the more I study myself the more I realize I have a long ways to go. I wish I was able to say that "I have this all figured out, follow me" But I am still trying to find the path to Follow jesus. Jesus claims to be the way. I need to follow him.

I feel like Jesus is a Taxi, he knows how to get us to the place we need to be, we just have to call out, flag him down and hop in. But I like to be in control of the driving. I need to figure out just how this relationship with Jesus and me is going to work. I think I need to learn more about him, more about what the holy spirit is up to, and how to truly get in line with God's will.

Ok I think that is all my rantings for today.